When a child in the family has ADHD, siblings may be impacted by this. Siblings may not fully grasp what is going on and may feel neglected by their parents. But don’t worry, with the right support, siblings can cope and thrive at the same time in this unique family dynamic through these helpful tips!
Young Siblings
Young children can easily notice when their sibling with ADHD is receiving more attention, which can cause frustration and meltdowns. As young children tend to be easily influenced, they may then start copying their siblings’ behaviour.
Here are some ways you can help:
Teach them what is right and what is wrong, encouraging positive behaviour. Remind them that everyone is unique and that some individuals need more support.
Create structure through consistent routines and rules.
Balance attention: Make sure to focus on each child equally so they all feel valued, preventing jealousy.
Adolescent Siblings
Teenagers can understand ADHD on a deeper level, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for them. With hormones, school pressure, and a social life on top of everything else, having a sibling with ADHD can add extra stress. They might feel embarrassed, frustrated, or guilty for having those feelings.
Ways to support adolescents:
Provide clear information: Explain ADHD in simple, honest terms. When teens understand the behaviour better, it’s easier for them to develop empathy and manage their own emotions.
Encourage open conversations: Let them talk about how they feel, even about the uncomfortable conversations. Listen without judging and reassure them that it is okay for them to feel that way.
Foster independence: Make sure your teen still has space to grow, explore their interests, and have their own identity, building their confidence and ensuring they are not overshadowed by their sibling’s needs.
Adult Siblings
As siblings get older, they usually gain more perspective. They may look back and realise how challenging things were, but they also tend to approach their siblings’ ADHD with more compassion and understanding.
Ways to support adult siblings:
Acknowledge the past: Adult siblings might still carry feelings from childhood. Talking openly about their experiences can help them process and heal.
Encourage involvement (but not pressure): Adult siblings can be excellent sources of emotional support or advice, but they shouldn’t feel responsible for everything.
Respect boundaries: Remind them it’s okay to help, but also okay to step back. Their own well-being and life priorities matter too.
Helping Siblings Thrive
No matter the age, the most important thing is creating an environment where all siblings feel supported, heard, and valued. Empathy and open communication can make a huge difference. By fostering strong family relationships and giving each child what they need, you can help every sibling (whether they have ADHD or not) feel confident, secure, and able to thrive.
About the Author
Dr Hatem El-Emam is a GP with a special interest in ADHD. Coming from a Neurodiverse family, he is an advocate for early identification and management of ADHD. He firmly believes that with the correct understanding and proper support, ADHD energy and creativity can be turned into a strength.
References
(2012). The behavioural profile of children with attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder and of their siblings. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 21(1), pp. 15-22. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-011-0250-0
(2016). Siblings’ Perceptions of Their ADHD-Diagnosed Sibling’s Impact on the Family System. South African Journal of Psychology 46(1), pp. 1-10. https://doi.org/10.1177/0081246315613700
(2007). Sibling relationships among children with ADHD. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 35(3), pp. 347-357. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-006-9090-0